May 2013
snorlaxatives:
the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
coagulates:
I just wanna kiss you for a few hours
deodrant:
are you ever so sad that you can actually feel your heart ache
that one song that starts playing and you recognize it immediately and you just
solluxforpresident:
gothlolita:
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
snlofficial:
when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is
rneerkat:
rneerkat:
how do you steal a coat?
you jacket
chlotana:
baby-youremyliquor:
chlotana:
why isn’t “so….yeah.” an acceptable conclusion on a 10 page paper
I’ve not really ever had Starbucks… Someone take me?
literally what the fuck
growlithed:
rupindre:
lameborghini:
petition to stop the use of the word schlong
what is schlong with it
why cant we all just get aschlong
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
fuckwooper:
money is so stupid and unnecessary we’re meat creatures on a rock floating in space and our entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper
titaniumbutt:
you may be the
but i am the
jebiwonkenobi:
When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
“New Rule: Gay marriage won’t lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to...”
– Bill Maher, New Rules (via vaspim)
lvysaur:
youhavetooletgo:
lvysaur:
x is my least favorite letter now because of math
Y?
i swear to fucking god
180mph:
vaspim:
lameborghini:
asking for nudes over snapchat is a dumb idea nigga how you gon masturbate in 10 seconds or less smh
Is this a challenge
*Sonic X theme song starts playing*
me: I'm sad
other people: there's kids starving in africa
me:
me:
me:
me: wow well obviously i didn't know that because I'm an idiot but now that you've pointed it out my sadness has magically been cured thank you
theniamsextapes:
mollyiswideawake:
Is “Bitch I might be” tumblr’s thing of the week then
bitch it might be
enjolras-is-captain-sassy:
corackadile:
why dont you
why do not you
FUCK THIS I HATE EVERTHING
all-hail-the-moffinator:
sackville-baggins:
sackville-baggins:
Maybe this time when I read Order of the Phoenix Sirius won’t die
He died.
I read somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.
aldcperfection:
When 6th graders complain about how hard school is
sireoinmacken:
“i’m as straight as a pole!”
longlivesherlock:
whorville:
whorville:
Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
The C
I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
baconmorelikebacoff:
rneerkat:
why did the chicken cross the road
to get the fuck away from your incoming pun
foxnewsofficial:
i’m not like other girls i’m a boy
at what age do i just magically turn hot
